Toddler Mutant Ninja Turtle

I'm dating myself, here. I grew up in the era of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They were pretty cool, right? Patrolling the city's sewers, fighting foes with their awesome martial-artsy skills. It wasn't until I was in college that I really examined how strange the concept of the whole show was. I mean, just listen to the title. Say it out loud. Slowly. Word by word.

Teenage
Mutant
Ninja
Turtles.

What the ... ?

Can you imagine how that studio pitch meeting went?

"Hey Bob, I've got a great new idea for a kids' cartoon."

"Oh yeah? What's the premise?"

"Well, there are these turtles who live in the sewer in the big city. Never know what might actually be in sewers in the big city. Might be alligators. Why not turtles?"

"...Turtles?"

"Yeah! Mutant turtles!"

"Okay...."

"And they all learn martial arts from a wise old rat."

"A mutant rat?"

"Yeah, a wise, old, mutant rat. And they all have these really cool, educated, artsy names. Renaissance masters. Like Michaelangelo."

"All of them?"

"Um, well, maybe. We're working on that."

"Okay.... so, uh, what's the point?"

"Oh, yeah. They go around fighting evil. Basic super hero stuff. But they're not supposed to exist, right? Because they're mutant turtles. So they have to stay in the sewer and fight on the down low and eat pizza and learn from the rat."

Silence.

Awkward shuffle.

"Uh, did I mention that they're teenagers? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles."

"By God, Mike, why didn't you just say so in the first place! It's brilliant! It's fan-freaking-tastic! We'll start story boards on Monday!"


Come on. Give me a break. It can't have been THAT easy, right? I mean, it sounds like something a college pothead came up with at 2 a.m. for his visual arts class. And yet look at it! It took the world by storm! Swept across the U.S. in a flurry of backpacks and lunch boxes and figurines and lousy live-action movies. I don't remember a whole lot of parents saying "boo" about it. But then again, I probably wasn't paying much attention.

Anyway, none of this has anything to do with cake. The reason it's on my mind is because I was asked to do a cutesy turtle cake for a second birthday party. When I told my friend about it, he asked if it was going to be a TMNT cake. I laughed and said no, and that the 2-year-old was WAY too young to even have ridden on the TMNT revival bandwagon. But as I was frosting the cake, my husband wandered by and said, "So cute! All he needs is a little bandanna mask and nun chucks!"

I snickered a little bit and said, "but he's way too young for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.* Just two. So wouldn't that be more like the Toddler Mutant Ninja Turtles?"

He just kind of looked at me and shrugged.

Regardless, I ended up with a cutesy turtle cake frosted in buttercream. I didn't want to waste a bunch of excess or carve the cake, so I baked the "shell" in my largest Pyrex* bowl, and the head and feet are made from trimmed cupcakes. I put him in the fridge, and when he came out I used a smooth paper towel, placed it against the cake, and rubbed it gently to give the buttercream a smoothed look--being careful that the heat of my hands didn't make it gooey (and looking at the picture, I really should have done his legs, too). This only works with "crusted" buttercream--and any texture from the paper towel will transfer over. This opens up a whole realm of possibilities (some paper towels have really cool quilted patterns--you can put them on wedding cakes!), but for the "smooth" look, you need something like Viva*. I've had people talk about dipping spatulas in water while you're frosting, too, but you just gotta do what works for you. With something with so many nooks and crannies like this little turtle dude, spatula work was too fine for me.

I free-handed the shell pattern, which you can probably tell, but I thought he looked pretty cute.

Maybe the toddler will grow up, love the third revival of TMNT, and in six years I'll be asked to make a bust of Leonardo. The mutant turtle--not the painter. You never know, right?

*None of these people/businesses/corporations sponsor me or anything. Promise. They're just what I've found that works best. Well, except TMNT. I don't really use them for anything. Just comic relief. But the other stuff--now they're handy. Come to think of it, shouldn't they be sponsoring me??