Chocolate wings

What is it about women that makes them feel like they have to constantly prove themselves? Live up to high expectations? Set the bar higher each time they try? Surely I'm not the only one that does such a thing. Coming from a family of artists and over-achievers, I constantly felt like I was struggling to establish myself in a unique talent. My mother is a fantastic artist and interior decorator, my sister is a stellar athlete that competes on the national level, my other sister is an incredible artist and the epitome of supermom...and then there's me. Oh sure, I got good grades. I really enjoyed acting and did a good job of it in high school. I quickly became mediocre at a lot of different things, and stuck with almost none of them.  I have always been a fan of cooking and such, but it has only been in the last few years that I have truly awakened my love of baking--and baking, I think, is where I express my artistic side.

The first time I brought a cake to my in-laws, I spent forever on it because I wanted to make a good impression. Then I realized that I had trapped myself. I had gone out of the gate with my best work--now the bar was getting higher and higher for me to top myself every time! It really didn't matter... my mother-in-law is a sweet heart and it would never cross her mind to even think about judging me based on culinary ability. This is a fact that I rapidly became grateful for as the cake I made her for mother's day lost half of its icing in an undignified slump after I went over a speed bump (the perils of icing a cake that's not cooled all the way!). And I was even more grateful for my in-law's laid back nature when my little brother-in-law requested a 3D bunny cake for his birthday... and the head fell off when my husband was driving it over to the party. Here you go, Anthony! A beheaded bunny cake! Luckily, there's not much that icing can't fix.

In fairness to myself, I think that I jumped on the cupcake bandwagon a little before everything hit the big time and suddenly cupcakes were haute couture.  Haute couture or not, I do enjoy them.  And I also enjoy making elaborate "real" cakes equally as much.  I made a three tier sea-blue fondant cake with sand and pearl-luster seashells for my friend at work as her going-away present. If I had stayed in Anchorage, I was going to be doing wedding cakes for two other friends of mine. I did three ridiculously awesome, three-dimensional Thomas the Train themed cakes for my boss's son's birthday (do you know how hard it is to sculpt Thomas and Percy so that they look like different faces? Sheesh! The creators could at least make them a little different, couldn't they?). But cupcakes... there's something about cupcakes that is intriguing.

Everyone loves cupcakes. They remind you of simpler, happier times. They seem like less of an indulgence. A person who will pass up a piece of cake will happily take a cupcake without a second thought. They're not as messy. They're more convenient.  And they're just so... cute.

The other night I got a little stir crazy. I decided that I felt like baking. So, at 4:30 I started making chocolate butterflies. It was sunny and bright out and I had hopes of spring... so I made blue and white butterflies to put on top of my special creamsicle flavored cupcakes. I made them minis, since minis seem to go even faster than regular cupcakes. I ended up making 48 minis. That's 96 individually piped free-handed chocolate wings (more, really, if you count the ones I broke). 48 antennae. 48 little piped bodies. 48 orange-frosted little cakes of deliciousness. And you know what? I must be getting faster. The whole thing took me about 3.5 hours... and I was by no means a model of efficiency. I kept getting frustrated at the temperamental chocolate. Antennae kept breaking. My bottle of nonpareils went skipping across the counter and the tiny white candy beads went skittering everywhere. But the cupcakes turned out pretty awesome.

I sent them to work with my husband, and he brought home an empty tupperware carrier and lots of praise...and then I realized it. It's like my in-laws all over again! I've gone out of the gate with some of my best work. So now my question to myself is......how in the HECK do I top that?