Kitchen Sinks and Black-eyed....Gerbers?

I splurged this weekend. I had resolved that I wasn't going to spend any money on any non-essentials for two weeks. And then I got a 50% coupon in my email from Michael's and I couldn't stop the siren call from dragging me under. That's how Saturday found Sean and I in the baking aisle of the chain craft store, me dithering indecisively over various thingamajigs and widgets, and Sean patiently acting as basket-bearer and occasional sounding-board. I finally settled on a fondant and gumpaste flower-making kit (think flowers made out of a sugar dough, basically), and was all in a tizzy to get going. I reined myself in, though, at least for a day. Luckily, I was tasked with bringing dessert to a Memorial Day barbecue.

The traditional fondant, the kind that is usually used on wedding cakes to give them that smooth, utterly flawless look, isn't very tasty. It's difficult to make from scratch, and somewhat expensive to buy. That's why I use marshmallow fondant. I can make a batch myself for under $2, and even though it's still basically straight sugar, it tastes better than the traditional stuff. Gumpaste is sort of the same thing, except that it tastes worse, dries out faster, and is usually used to mold or shape flowers. I haven't made any of that myself yet, but it's easy enough to do.

Sean's office mates have been the lucky recipients of my experiments. I've sent in creamsicle cupcakes, sweet tart cupcakes, chocolate cupcakes with coffee frosting, mocha cupcakes with (real) Irish Cream frosting, and some tender and flaky not-your-average scones in the flavors of chocolate chip and orange rum spice.... and with all that selection, with all those unique flavors, they said that the traditional, nothing-special, comfort food Red Velvet was their favorite. As much as that tamped down on my desire for shocking new--yet tasty!--flavors, I recognize a good thing when I see it. Plus, I'm a purist at heart. I just believe in taking traditional comfort food flavors and making them the best they can possibly be.

So my decision was made. Red Velvet cupcakes for the barbecue. But what kind of flowers go with Red Velvet? I didn't want to try something too wacky right away, so I settled on a daisy. But a plain daisy is boring. What about a sunflower, or a gerber, or a....Black-eyed Susan! Feeling like the Black-eyed Susan was calling me home to my Idaho roots, I decided to go for that. I got a bit too carried away with the red coloring gel, though, and they came out a bit too orange. Meh. I can just called it a Black-eyed Gerber.

Using fondant instead of gumpaste was a bit challenging. They still came out beautiful, but required more work to make them so. After creating 14 flowers (which is really only 7, since they are double-layered), I gave up for the night. I put them all in the oven--off, of course--to dry overnight and keep them from any contamination. In the morning I took them out first thing so that I wouldn't make a stupid mistake and ruin them by turning on the oven. I whip up some completely ridiculous-over-the-top brownies (we're talking marshmallows, almonds, heath bars, chocolate frosting, and homemade caramel sauce), get the Red Velvet batter going and the cupcakes popped into the oven, and leave Sean to watch over them while I run to Michael's to redeem another coupon (can't use them on the same day, drat it all!) to pick up some color dust for the flowers.

I come back, and Sean says, "I pulled them out, but I wasn't sure what that other thing was in the oven, so I just left it there." I look at him in incomprehension for a moment, then go to the oven with a sinking feeling in my stomach. There, on the top rack, in a plastic, warped, non-oven-safe dish, is a poor, bloated, unrecognizable excuse for a fondant flower. I had missed one. Sadness. At least the dish was cheap and I had six more blossoms to work with. I colored some leftover fondant a dark brown, dusted it with gold pearl dust, poked holes in it with a ball tool to make it look pebbly, and set them aside so that I could highlight the petals with red pearl dust. I slapped them all together and viola! Black-eyed Gerbers. I couldn't stand to present a sub-par platter of cakes, though, with only six blossoms (turns out I only used five, anyway), among otherwise unadorned cupcakes, so I molded the rest of the fondant in some molds I already had, and painted them to give them a watercolor effect. Presto! A cupcake presentation that almost looked like it was meant to be that way!

I was inordinately proud. I snapped photo after photo. I carried them triumphantly through through the building, secretly hoping someone would be in the hallway to see (I dumped the brownies on Sean to carry). We get there, and everyone ooohs and aaaaahs over the cupcakes--especially after they realize that the daisies are sugar--and then attack the brownies like chocolate-loving wolves. I have never had so many compliments on something--and they were totally an afterthought! Oh, sure, when the "official" dessert time rolled around, people's eyes did roll back into their heads in cream-cheesy ecstasy. But I made those brownies because the hostess told me she liked completely over-the-top, super decadent, ridiculous desserts. They were off the cuff. Unplanned. Approached in the "kitchen sink" method. And after reviews like that.... well, I better write down what I did, quick, before I forget. There will always be a market for amazingly decorated cupcakes. But a smart business woman listens to her customers....even if the reviews take her completely by surprise!